Buffy the Vampire Slayer Q&A
by Wesker's Son
Summary: I've kidnapped, I mean invited the Buffy gang to the first Buffy Q&A ever. Torture, force, dare, hurt, and even kill them as much as you like. As long as it not sex, it okay!
1. Chapter 1

Buffy: (looks around) Where are we?  
>Giles: I don't know.<br>Spike: (Spike pointing toward me) Um, who is he?  
>Me: Why, hello cast.<br>Willow: Cast?  
>Me: Yes, witch cast.<p>

Drusilla: And who are you?

Me: I'm the author, naraku's brother.  
>Xander: Hold on, cast for what?<br>Me: The first Buffy the Vampire Slayer Q&A, of course!  
>Anya: (looking at me like I'm crazy) And what makes you think we're gonna stay to do it?<br>Me: Because there is no exit, you're in Room of Spirit and Time.  
>Buffy: The what of what and what.<br>Me: (sighs) Have any of you ever Dragonball Z?  
>The Trio and Xander: (raise their hands)<br>Me: (Turns toward the audience) Figures. We in the big white room seen during the Cell Saga.  
>Everyone: Oh.<br>Buffy: Well, Willow can teleport us out.  
>Me: No, she can't. I took away her teleportation spells and any spells harmful to me.<br>Spike: Well, we can gang up on him.  
>Me: (shakes my head) Uh-Uh.<br>Giles: And why not.  
>Me: (raises my hand and a Death Ball appears) That's why. So obey me or this happens. (throws it at Warren and he explodes)<br>Jonathan and Andrew: Why'd you do that.  
>Me: I hate him . Not only is he annoying, he killed Buffy and Tara. I don't support homosexual relationships, but I liked Tara. She was good people.<br>Everyone except Willow and Tara: Bring him back.  
>Me: I'm the author and what I say goes. Willow, Tara, do we want him back? It up to you.<br>Willow and Tara: (look at each other, then look back me) Sure, but if he gets on our nerves, we want to kill him personally.  
>Me: (revives Warren) Happy. Alright, this is the first chapter. Feel free to ask, date, befriend, and torture-<br>Everyone: Torture.  
>Me: Yes, torture, and you know what, just for that, kill any of the cast members, who are Buffy, Spike, Giles, Angel, Willow, Anya, Tara, Drusilla, Darla, the Trio, Caleb, Faith, The Mayor, and the Master. Till next time- (looks over and see Spike kissing Buffy, Willow kissing Tara, and Anya kissing Xander) Hey, cut that crap out! (gets a water sprayer out of nowhere) Hey! (sprays them until they stop).<br>Them: What?  
>Me: Only the reviewers can tell you when to kiss. And that it, no sex, although fighting is allowed. (throw a chair, I teleport out of dodge as everyone starts fighting)<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own any DBZ references or the characters of this fanfic.

Chapter 2

Me: Hello, I'm back. (looks around and sees dust on the floor, Giles knocked out, Willow in her dark form using magic to push everyone around) Sigh. I can't do anything without having you all kill each other.  
>Willow: Die! (shoots at me with lightning bolts)<br>Me: (blocks it and shoots a purifying blast at her)  
>Willow: Oh my god, I'm so sorry.<br>Me: my question who put dust on my -censored- floor? (gets a vacuum cleaner and sucks it up)  
>Giles: You know that was the vampires, right.<br>Me: Oh -censored-. (empties it out and revives them)  
>Vampires: Thanks, .<br>Me: No problemo.  
>Xander: Can we call by a nick name.<br>Me: You can call me NB for short.  
>Andrew: Alright, NB.<br>Me: (turns to him, with fiery red eyes) You can't call me that.  
>Andrew: Then what do I call you?<br>Me: Call me, taskmaster.  
>Andrew: Why?<br>Me: (hits him with a whip) No homo. Now lift up that chair, you too Jonathan and Warren.  
>Trio: (lifts it up, only for me to sit on it)<br>Me: Now, onto the questions.  
>Spike: What do you mean?<br>Me: Questions by the reviewers. We already went over this! Now this is from tiny nerd:  
>Soooo, I can make them do anything?<p>

I say Spike should give Buffy a lap dance.

And, Giles, explain to me this: vampires don't have breath, but Spike smokes.  
>How? (or Spike could explain while lap dancing)<p>

And, I know this is a cast Q&A, but I'd like to ask the author to elaborate  
>on his statement about not supporting homosexual relationships. Not judging,<br>just curious.

That's all.

-the tiny nerd

Me: As long as isn't sex, than yes.  
>Buffy and Spike: (looks at each other) No way that's gonna happen.<br>Me: Well, either that or I can make you more unpopular than the Trio, particularly Andrew.  
>Buffy and Spike: Fine.<br>Me: (opens a portal and pushes them through)  
>Giles: Well, it's because...that happens because...you see... (50 minutes) Alright I don't know.<br>Me: Finally, something you don't know. (opens a portal as Spike and Buffy come in with their clothes on backwards) Oh, come on! You know what, never mind. Spike, read the question, you (censored).  
>Spike: (reads the question) Oh, it's because our lungs don't absorb oxygen, we still retain a breathing reflex.<br>Giles: Oh, yeah it was gonna say that.  
>Me: Sure. And to answer your question, it's because I was born and raised a devout Christian. I mean, I listen to more Gospel than pop and rap, although I make a exception with Michael Jackson.<br>Trio: Michael Jackson molests kids.  
>Me: (adds more weight to myself) Shut up. Anyway, I just believe that marriage should between a man and wife. But, I'm not saying I hate homosexuals. I like Ellen DeGeneres and Tara and Willow are two of my favorite characters ever. I just don't condone their way of life.<br>Everyone: Wow. Very long.  
>Me: Shut up.<br>Giles: So what's the next review.  
>Me: Um... See, what happen was...<br>Angel: There are no more reviews, are there?  
>Me: (shakes head)<br>Spike: Why didn't you bloody tell us first?  
>Me: The search engine on this site is experiencing technical difficulties, so they can't search us up. So, wanna play go fish?<p>

Everyone: Sure.


	3. Chapter 3

Me: Hi everyone.

Spike: Wasn't the last chapter just updated, then why are you back so soon.

Me: Nice to see you too. Trio, you know the drill.

Trio: We're tired.

Me: (uses telekinesis to put them under the seat and put the chair on top of them and I jump on)

Giles: If you had telekinesis, why didn't use it?

Me: Because this is more fun. (Creates ki whip) Now, onto the questions! This one is from cherryfangz:

**Okay majorly serious question.. How comes****Angel****hasn't punched or at least****  
><strong>**knocked out Spike for touching Buffy yet? Everyone even Spike knows that the****  
><strong>**Buffster and Angel are like fated or something and that Spike would so rub it****  
><strong>**in Angel's face when he gets anywhere near Buffy which would result in a major****  
><strong>**beating from Angel, right?**

**Also Angel.. Which side of you do you truly prefer? The easiness of being****  
><strong>**soulless thus having no regrets at the killing of people.. Or the good souled****  
><strong>**side that helps us****mere mortals****?**

Me: Oh crap!

Angel: You what!

Me: You see, I kinda wiped the memories clean of that to avoid a fight.

Spike: (remembers) Oh yeah.

Me: (gets bell and dings it twice, the light dim and a fighting arena forms, with me the referee and commentator) Alright, I believe in clean fights, so go nuts.

Angel and Spike: (fights)

Me: I got twenty on Angel, oh, that musta hurt. Ouch!

Spike: (screams)

Me: And a dropkick to the face, ouch. Whoa, a jab to the oh, Angel got Spike hair, and… (rip) I'm gonna need to heal these two later. Angel, here! (throws a stake)

Buffy: (catches it and throws it back and hits Jonathon in the forehead) Oops!

Me: Nice going.

Willow, Tara, Buffy, and Anya: Stop them.

Me: (eating popcorn and drinking root beer) Why? Let them fight it out.

Buffy: There gonna kill each other.

Me: No, they won't, unless they're motivated. Spike and Angel, whoever wins gets a… ten million dollars and three wishes.

Spike and Angel: (stops, looks at me, then each other, and Spike jumps on Angel)

Xander: Should we stop this?

Me: No.

-10 Minutes Later-

Angel: I win. I wish…

Me: Sorry, that guarantee expired one second ago.

Angel: That's dirty.

Me: I know, so where Spike.

Spike: Right here. (several bruises on the face and knots everywhere)

Me: (heals both of them) Now, Angel, answer the question.

Angel: (reads) I like the resouled version of myself because everyone like me better this way.

Me: Wuss.

Angel: I heard that.

Me: Your point is? Next question, which was the first question, but I overlooked it. Sorry. From ThePictureWriter:

**All right, this sounds like fun.**

**First of all, I wanted to ask Spike, Giles,****Angel****, or****Angelus****(if you can get****  
><strong>**him to somehow appear, sans monkey sex, if possible) how is it possible that****  
><strong>**Angelus is a right prick, when Spike is the same without or with a soul?**

**Also, ask Angel and Spike if they ever slept together? (Over the****  
><strong>**century-and-a-bit they've known one another) Because, hey, sometimes, it seems****  
><strong>**the verbal jabs seem more like innuendos.. in my opinion anyway ^^**

**It also be amusing to see some fights ensue.. Drusilla and Buffy over Spike?****  
><strong>**Spike and Angel over Buffy? Oz and Tara over Willow? Maybe Cordelia and Anya****  
><strong>**over****Xander****? ...Or just make a giant tub of Ben& Jerry's appear and see what****  
><strong>**happens. I also request a bag of kittens.**

**Last question; what happened in the infamous Fade-To-Black scene of Buffy and****  
><strong>**Spike in Chosen? Dun-dun-duuun.**

**P.S.: in the mangas of DBZ, Boo was able to break out of the Room of Spirit****  
><strong>**and Time by simply shouting with enough force and Debizels. I think he did****  
><strong>**that in the Anime too.. (Gotenks destroyed the door to God's temple so he****  
><strong>**couldn't get out properly, and yes, I'm a nerd.) Shame on the Trio and Xander****  
><strong>**for forgetting this. :P**

Me: Trust me it is! (Creates a duplicate of Angel and turns into Angelus) Wuss Ange,l meet Prick Angel, Prick Angel, Wuss Angel. Now Angelus, why are you such a prick?

Angelus: Because I'm a vampire and revealing my true self. Unlike this wuss. (points at Angel)

Angel: Hey. (gets ready to punch Angelus)

Me: Hey, no fighting, unless I bring the fight arena in, and I don't feel like doing that anymore.

Spike and Angel: -Censored- no!

Me: Well, they do have a point.

Spike and Angel: We haven't… recently.

Me: Oh my God.

Spike: The ladies had kicked out of our rooms and their was only one bed.

Angel: But, we didn't do anything.

Me: I could incinerate you both, but I won't because you are my 3rd and 4th favorite characters,

Spike and Angel: Who's third?

Me: Spike, only because he's cool and he looks like Wesker.

Buffy: I refuse to fight over him.

Drusilla: Same here.

Me: Either that or (forms a ki whip and points down at the Trio, who is struggling)

Drusilla: He's mine! (jumps on Buffy)

Me: Cat fight.

Angel and Spike: We already fought.

Me: Spike, Angel called you "Captain Peroxide".

Spike: She's mine! (jumps on Angel)

Cordelia: He's mine! (tries to jump on Anya, but Anya sticks out her arm and it goes through her heart)

Me: Was that necessary?

Anya: Yes!

Oz: I don't want her anymore.

Me: Alright.

-10 Minutes Later-

Me: Winners are: Buffy, Spike, Anya, and Tara. (heals everyone)

Xander and the Trio: Hey, it hasn't aied since 2005, how are we supposed to know?

Me: You know, there's something called the INTERNET! Well, no one has reviewed for days, so bye ya'll.

Everyone except me: Yes!

Me: Couldn't have wait till I left could you? Hurtful! (leaves)


	4. Chapter 4

Me: (enter) Wow, it's been awhile. (Sees everyone on the ground, playing "I Spy")

Xander: I spy something evil.

Everyone except me: Hey, NB!

Me: Well, my friends did call me sadistic. (Rolls eyes) How did you survive the harsh winter and the fires that happen in here? When I spent time in here, I nearly didn't survive, well until I memorized the pattern.

Buffy: Well, the winter, we all huddled together and the fire, we just hid in the temple. (Points to the entrance) And we've escaped if someone wouldn't have broken the doorknob.

Andrew: Someone pushed me against it.

Spike: Also, we've have a proposition.

Me: So.

Buffy: We'll stay for 7 more chapters and then you release us.

Me: I have a better proposition: You stay here until I get tired of this fanfic and I won't start killing all of you at the beginning of each chapter.

Warren: That's not fair.

Me: (forms a Big Bang Attack) Should I put that proposition into effect.

Everyone: Never mind.

Me: Warren, say the disclaimer.

Warren: **This sadistic torturing boy does not own us or most of his attacks. **

Me: Thank you. Try anything like that again (a stake burst through my chest; turns around to see Giles) When will you learn. (Removes the stake and regenerates) Now… (Uses telekinesis to throw him back into the group) I have to summon my two of best friend. (Opens a portal as Cell and Freiza steps out) Cell! Frieza!

Cell and Frieza: NB! (hugs me) Why did you summon us, we were torturing King Cold?

Me: Isn't he technically both your fathers?

Cell: It's pretty fun.

Me: Okay, I need you two to help me have fun and torture these people for this chapter.

Cell and Freiza: (looks at each other and shrugs) Sure.

Xander: (approaches with a notepad) Can I have your autographs.

Cell and Freiza: (looks at me and I shrug) Sure. (Signs) There you go.

Xander: Also, Son family rules. (tried to run, but Cell and Freiza shoots him with a Death Beam).

Buffy cast: WHY?

Me: It's fun. So, onto the questions. (Sees the Trio sneaking away) Hey, you!

The Trio: (gasps)

Me: So what are you doing!

The Trio: What are we doing?

Me: What are you doing!

The Trio: Nothing much!

Me: Sneaking away!

The Trio: Sneaking away?

Me: Are you?

The Trio: …Yes.

Me: (charges a Super Solar Kamehameha) I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! BUT I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU THREE SECONDS TO LIVE!

The Trio: (looks at each other)

Me: 1!

The Trio: (runs)

Me: Three! (fires it and they die and are incinerated) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And that's happen when you sneak away.

Cell: He has anger issues and he likes Team Four Star.

Me: Yeah. This question is from…

Freiza: Shouldn't you revive them?

Me: I'll when they're asked a question. This question is from HowIsTheDRAMAQUEEN:

**This is so crack! I love it!******

**Okay, my questions are:******

**Everyone except Buffy, Angel, and Spike: between the three, which couple do****  
><strong>**you prefer. Buffy and Angel, Buffy and Spike, or Angel and Spike? ;)******

**What are your opinions on the season 8 comics?******

**And can we bring Sweet back and make them all sing their feelings again?**

Me: I prefer Buffy and Spike.

Giles: I really don't care.

Everyone Else: Same here.

Me: Oh come on. I never have read them. And I never really liked Sweet.

Everyone: Please don't.

Me: As much as I want to torture them, I won't.

Cell: Next review is from nilesccolver…

Me: Yes, a Nanny fan.

Everyone: (looks at me)

Me:See, this why my next Q&A is going to be Fullmetal Alchemist and Dragon Ball Z together. (MAJOR SPOILER!)

**very funny**

Me: Why thank you.

Buffy: Us being tortured is funny to you people?

Me, Cell, and Freiza: (looks at each other and rise into the air as the fires engulf them) Yes.

Buffy cast: (screams as the fire melts them)

Us: (laughing till our oxygen supply can't hold it)

Me: Alright let's revive them. (revives cast)

BTVS cast: Did you cause that?

Me: Maybe. (looks away) Next review, from FanTyger:

**Okay, here we go...**

**Willow, how is it that your telepathic and telekinetic abilities are considered magic when they are really mental powers?******

**Tara, is there anyone that really annoys you?******

**Faith, what are your true thoughts about Willow and Tara?******

**Caleb, have you always been this psychopathic?******

**and Mr. Mayor, for a demon, you are very chipper. Any insights on why you're so cheerful?**

Me: That is a good point. Why do you say that.

Willow: (whispers to me and the reviewer) Because I don't want people to know that I don't have many abilities.

Me: (whispering) Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. (snaps and a sign appears floating above her head that says "I only know 3 things)

Everyone except Tara and Willow: (snickers)

Willow: What?

Me: (snaps and sign disappears) Nothing. (whistles innocently)

Tara: Other than this NB mother… (incinerated by a Cosmic Cannon)

Me: Shut your mouth. (revives her)

Tara: That giant bug too.

Cell: (kills her with another Cosmic Cannon)

Me: (revives again)

Tara: And the lizard!

Freiza: (you already know)

Me: (revives)

Tara: I can keep this going all day.

Us: So can we! (charges up a Cosmic Cannon)

Me: And I don't have to revive you.

Tara: Shutting up now.

Me: Yeah. Faith, what are your true thoughts.

Faith: Willow belong to me and only me.

Willow: You led to my magic addiction.

Faith: Tara led to your darkside.

Me: Actually, that was Warren's fault. (shoots Death Beam through Faith's heart) That should stop the arguing for now.

Caleb: Have met my boss? A being that can't be touched, and, well, I watched a lot of horror movies.

Me: Hey, I watched movies all my life and I'm okay.

BTVS cast: Well…

Me: Don't make me do a Final Destination/ Buffy the Vampire Slayer crossover!

BTVS cast: Never mind.

Mayor: Well, caffine is a really magical drug. (starts sipping a LARGE cup of coffee)

Me: And bad for your heart.

Mayor: (Sticks his tongue out at me)

Me: (sweatdrops) Anyway, R&R is the phrase for today. And for those of you who loves FMA vs Predator, a new chapter is coming and for those who love Buffy Vs Freddy, I'm having a little bit of writer's block, but I'll try my best to try to update. And after FMA vs Predator, I have a surprise for you. I recommend for iCarly fans.

R&R! R&R! R&R! R&R!


	5. Special

Buffy: I wonder how long before NB show up?

(A large fire starts on stage as I slowly materialize on stage as I laugh demonically and echoic) Me: How ya'll doing?

BTVS cast: Let us go!

Me: Why are you all down suddenly?

Buffy: We can't take it in here.

Spike: It's just a white void.

Me: Last time, I was here, I did have an iPad and iPhone so that's how I was sane. Well look at me, I'm excited, as matter fact, I going to bring in Sweet for this special chapter.

Xander: Why?

Me: I'm bored. Don't worry; it's in the tune of Futurama's song that the crew sang when the scammer took their city. (Brings in Sweet)

Xander: I rather kill myself.

Me: Why not do both.

Xander: _I might as well jump, _

_this sadistic torturing boy made me look like a chump!_

Me: _Neh!_

Xander: _HE robbed of my dignity and most of my sanity!_

Buffy: _Spike brought me a dinner!_

Everyone: _Cram it down and shut the hell up!_

Faith: (looks over at Tanya and Willow) _I can't compete with that,_

_She's nice and has long hair and I'm crazy mad,_

_Who would date a bad-haired girl with magic addiction?_

Buffy: _Spike said I'm pretty._

Everyone: _Who the hell cares?_

The Master: _Oh will someone please kill her please and put her out of our misery!_

Me: _That's where I come in. _(Start blasting small Death Balls while dancing and spinning)

BTVS: (run into temple and huddles in fear)

Angel: (looks up to see Spike and Buffy hugging) _Spike makes me puke,_

_I bet she loved me too if I was blond haired cook!_

Buffy: (walks over with Spike) Guess what guys?

Giles; What?

Buffy: _While we huddled in fear,_

_Spike popped the question!_

Darla: Congratulations!

Willow: Mazel Tov!

Tara: May all the stars bless your love!

Me: _I think I going cry because this extra happy Labor Day this year!_

(song ends)

Me: See that was fun. If you wanna sing along, just type in "futurama bender's big score xmas song" and ignore the Planet Express people! Did you like? (Smiles)

BTVS cast: NO!

Me: (smile fades) Excuse me for bringing a song in to brighten you all. (Turns to audience) I hope you enjoyed this special chapter. The song belongs to the Futurama. Sometime soon, I'll upload Spike and Buffy wedding. But, before I do and if you want me too, R&R! Or else, I just kill the crew!

BTVS cast: Please R&R!


	6. Chapter 6

Buffy: I wonder how long before NB show up?

(A large fire starts on stage as I slowly materialize on stage as I laugh demonically and echoic) Me: How ya'll doing?

BTVS cast: It's getting old!

Me: Shut up. Anyway, it's back to the original storyline, um, Giles say the disclaimer!

Giles: NB does not own us or his entrance!

Me: Thank you. The first review is from Spuffyholic:

Buffy, in the last episode of season 7 when you said "I love you" to Spike. Did you really mean it?

And, i want everybody to say their true thoughts about Angel.

AND, Spike. Have you ever been to Sweden?

(sorry for my bad english)

Me: Uh oh, actually, I've been wondering about that myself. Oh, and don't worry, I from the South, and our English is torn up.

Buffy: (hold up hand) I'm engaged to him, but, to answer your question, I realized that if he died, my life would incomplete without hearing "Hello luv", or seeing him helping me. I missed durning the season 8 comics. (breaks down crying on my shoulder)

Me: Aw, (pats her backs) Buffy stop, he here now, Spike, here your fiancee! (pushes her onto his shoulder) While Buffy is being comforted, we'll finish up the questions. Truly, I don't like him as much as I like Spike, but he's good people.

Xander: Never liked him.

Spike: He was and kinda still is my best friend.

Buffy: Same (pants) here (pants).

Giles: Kinda, but never really liked him.

Willow and Tara: He was a good friend.

Everyone else: Nope. Don't like him.

Me: (cough "haters)

Spike: (patting back of now composed Buffy) I've always wanted to go but I couldn't.  
>Me: Why?<p>

Spike: Never really and had time.

Me: Never mind, anyway the next is from Harbinger Of Kaos:

Well i'm a big Xander fan and i totally think the whole butt monkey deal was  
>way to much, i mean the guy hung in there while everyone practically went<br>psycho, so i think he deserves a 5 minute make out session with Cordy, Anya,  
>Jenny, Young adult Dawn and Faith.<p>

Also allow Giles, Xander and Jenny to beat up a tied up Angelus with Metal  
>baseball bats for 10 miuntes, 5 extra if they hit the groin.<p>

Have Xander grab a chainsaw and eviscerate Caleb.

And question for Buffy, What would your Mother say to the fact that your  
>basically a necrophiliac, i mean their undead Vampires you sick freak, i draw<br>the line when it comes to having sex with a corpse.

Also question for Cordy did you just make out with Xander? or did you ever  
>progressed further than that? Also you forgave Angel when he abandoned you<br>upon Darla's return. You forgave him when he got vampire Darla pregnant and  
>you forgave him when he took up the Job of Lawyers from Hell, But you DON'T<br>forgive Xander for the fluke? What is wrong with you?

He bought you a prom dress when you had nothing, he forgave you when you  
>humiliated him, he has taken more crap than Deadboy and you fall for the<br>corpse, if you weren't one of my favorites i wouldn't consider you in the  
>running for him in two of my fanfics.<p>

You should of taken Xander's offer of having you, at least he was normal and  
>had a pulse.<p>

Hope i get some answers, and NB be kind to them and let them have a small  
>break from the murder and Mayhem.<p>

Xander: Well, I wouldn't mind Anya and Cordy but everybody else, nah and she does have a point.

Me: You did,I just don't like your smart aleck attitude. But, when I leave you can do your makeout session. Alright. (gives Xander and he does that to Caleb) Alright put it down.

Xander (chops me in half with the thing and pushes me into the bathtub in the temple filled with sulfuric acid) Yes we won! He's dead!

BTVS crew: Yah!

Me: (Crawls out of bathtub in one piece but severely burned) Yah my ass! Do you know how much that burns? Alot. (blasts Xander with the Galick Gun then revives him and kills him again with the Death Ball)

-Ten minutes of Xander being killed with various techniques-

Me: (Finally kills him with Gigantic Explosion) Alright I'm better. (regenerates body) Buffy, answer away.

Buffy: Technically, they just don't have a soul, but they're still alive.

Cordy: I was less mature and only cared about popularity.

Me: You people know you do what ever want with them but have sex with them. I'm trying to keep this a Teen rating. Beside the last 15 minutes, nobody important has died for a couple of chapters.

The Trio: We did.

Me: I just said nobody important. But, try to refrain myself.

The Mayor: You mean I can do this, (slaps me) and you won't- (I snap his neck). Revive.  
>(The mayor reappears)<p>

Me: Anyway, next is from SpySkater:

Oh, I'm w' in on this. I got a few questions.

First off, Mayor Wilkins... you're a bad **. That is all.

So, my question is for our residential Slayers, Buffy and Faith. Obviously,  
>there was a lot of sexual tension between you. Joss Whedon even admits it. I<br>mean, come on. The looks, the touches, the words, the slaying! Buffy, Faith  
>asked you on a date (homecoming). Faith, Buffy was worried as to why you<br>weren't in the limo like she would a male date. Plus, the double H's? Hungry  
>and horny together. You guys slayed together ALONE often. So, tell me. Be<br>honest. What happened between y'all for real? Especially since Buffy just  
>slept with a chick in season 8...<p>

That's all I got for y'all right now. But I will be back. Oh, and NB. I'm  
>gonna have to ask that you refrain from torturing Faith.<p>

The Mayor: (shrugs) Eh.

Buffy and Faith: No, nothing!

Me:(looks at audience with one eyebrow raised and looks at them) Uh huh.

Buffy & Faith: NOTHING!

Me: Alright. I don't think I've ever tortured you Faith. But, once again, I'll refrain. Next review is from Macey. Hi Macey! And her review is:

Willow, you were better off with Oz. I like Tara and all, but... Oz was  
>special!<p>

Anya, how would you feel if Xander ran off with Dru?

Xander, I dare you to run off with Dru.

Spike, you're bloody amazing!

Spike and Giles, you're both bloody amazing! I love your British-ness. By any  
>chance, can I steal your British-ness?<p>

Oz, I love you. Will you marry me?

Willow: Why should I have, I accepted that I was a lesbian.

Anya: ( in a demonic voice) I'd hunt down him down and kill them both.

Xander: I never run off with Drusilla.

Me: Yes you did.

Xander: No, I didn't.

Me: Yes you did.

Xander: No, I didn't.

Me: Yes you did.

Xander: No, I didn't.

Me: Yes you did.

Xander: No, I didn't.

Me: No you didn't.

Xander: Yes I did. Alright. I ran off with Drusilla when I didn't want to go to college and we rented a motel room and-(realizes what he said) Whoops.

Me: (starts laughing hard)

BTVS cast except for Dru: (sweat drops and does an anime fall over)

Me: Alright, next person.

Spike and Giles: Thank you, and no.

Me:(reaches in their body and pulls out a British flag and gives to Macey) There you go, old chap.

Giles and Spike: Hey.

Me: Shut up.

Oz: Sure.

Me: (claps and the scene turns into a wedding chapel) Oz, do you take this woman as your lawfully wedded wife, to love and hold and take of durning sickness and well, you know the rest.

Oz: (does Sweeny Todd nod)

Me: Macey-

Macey: I do.

Me: Kiss the woman.

Oz: (does the whole Sweeney Todd "By the Sea" kiss)

Me: (claps and we're in a room ... With a moose!) Oh dear God. (Claps again and we inside a dungeon... With a moose) *sighs* Alright one more try. (claps again and we inside the Room of Spirit and Time) Here we go. Anyway, review is also from Fantyger:

Oh wow. A wedding, huh? It'll probably end in disaster anyway...

It would be funny if Tara and Faith got into a car fight and Angel Pimp  
>slapped Spike. But hey, that'll NEVER happen...XD<p>

Me: Hey, ya never know, heck Goku might bust in. And that would be funny. Anyway, last review. From XNatalieX:

Hi there! I am XNatalieX, a reviewer from New Zealand, and I love this q and  
>A. When I first started watching btvs, I watched random episodes rather than<br>from the start of season 1, and the first thing I noticed was the cuteness of  
>Willow and Tara. Willow, you are so adorable, you say the most awesome things<br>that always make me laugh! And Tara, You and I are very much the same. We have  
>the same personalities, so that's why I love you guys! My friends and I even<br>roleplay as the btvs characters and I play Tara! I love it! (We've posted THE  
>TALE OF MISS KITTY FANTASTICO scene from Family on youtube! (look it up, it's<br>so cool.) Anyway, after that longwinded babble about how much I love this show  
>and the q&amp;a, I have my question: I want each of the couples, both members, to<br>tell everyone what they like most about their partner, and I want to also ask  
>Anya why she is so afraid of bunnies.<p>

Thanks so much!

XNatalieX

Me: Thank you for the compliments.

Spike: I love your eyes.

Buffy: I love your accent.

Tara: I love your hair.

Willow: I love your personality.

Xander: I love your hair too.

Anya: I love your body. And in my previous life, a bunny came to me and when I picked it up, it bit me.

Me: So? The thing was scared.

Anya: I was 5!

Me: Anyway, please more show of support. R&R! Bye (steps into portal, screams and runs back out)  
>Buffy: What?<p>

Me: I went into the room with a moose!

BTVS cast: *sighs* 


	7. Chapter 7

Me: (walks in) Hey guy, how's it going?

BTVS cast: Well, we actually kinda missed you.

Me: Really?

BTVS cast: No!

Me: Hurtful. Listen up maggots, we only got three reviews; see if you weaklings can survive for that long.

Xander: What made you so mad?

Me: (turns with red eyes and is breathing fired) SHUT UP!

The Trio: I kinda like him this way.

Me: NEVER LOOK IN MY EYES! (Calms down) Anyway, first review is from Batamut:

(looking Amused): Xander isn't in the cast list does that mean I cannot  
>askdare/befriend/torture him?

Oh well put Warren under simultaneous a castration curse,regeneration spell  
>that doesn't numb pain and "keep him conscious" spell for as long as Anya<br>feels it worthy as anything she has done as a Justice Demon

Me: Whoops, but yes, torture him till he melts, I don't care.

Xander: Hey!

Me: Shut maggot. I refuse to do that, not even I'm that cruel. (snaps fingers and Warren's under a castration spell)

Warren: Oh God.

Me: But I am that sadistic. This calls for pointing and laughing!

Everyone except Warren: ( points and laughs)

Me: When should I stop?

Anya: Two days.

Spongebob Announcer: 5 days later.

Me:(lifts curse)

Warren: (3 day rotting corpse on the floor)

Me: (blasts corpse then revives him) Welcome back.

Warren: Never do that again.

Me: (Eyes go black and demonic aura swirling around me) THE EYES!

Warren: Forgive me! (jumps back and cowers)

Me: That's what I thought. Next review from the one, the only SPUFFYHOLIC:

I want Mayor Wilkins and Faith to have 1 hour alone. To.. talk, or something. And i want Buffy and Spike to take a trip to Sweden! :D

Me: Alright, I'll send to a restaurant and if you make any attempt to escape, I'll tie you down give you a stay-alive potion, cut off your heads, and dump fire and bullet ants in your body. Got it?

Faith and Mayor: Yes.

Me: (Teleports them away) As for you two, think of this as an pre-marriage honeymoon. (Teleports them away too) Next time I update their trips will be discussed. See ya! (looks to the right) Hey, get out of here.

Piccolo: (looks confused and walks back out)


	8. Chapter 8

Me: (Look confused) A vampire and slayer wants to be married on Christmas. Really?

Buffy and Spike: There isn't anything wrong with that.

Me: All right. Make the list of bridesmaids, who to give you away and all that crap.

3 Hours later

The to-be-weds: (hands me the list)

Me: (with an echoing voice) Your wish is granted.

(The set transforms into a chapel. Dawn, Willow, Anya, and Jenny are the bridesmaids. Angel (obviously and Xander are the best men. A little girl runs down the isle, Buffy starts walking down the isle as they pass by me on the front row. The seats are filled with friend and old allies of the two.)

Giles: We are here today to join these two in martial matrimony on this day.

Me: Hurry up, I only have 5 minutes before this place disappears.

Giles: Anyway, William Pratt, do you take this woman love and hold durning sickness and health.

Spike: I do.

Giles: Buffy... (Ahem)

Me: (points at my watch)

Giles: Buffy Summer, same thing?

Buffy: Well, I do.

Giles: I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.

Spike and Buffy: (kisses)

Me: (Turns the chapel back in set with a reception) alright please R&R to this joyous occasion. Oh, conga line. (go join a conga line)


	9. Final

Me: That's it.

Willow: What?  
>Me: This QA is over.<br>All: Really?  
>Me: Yes, this fic isn't that popular anymore. We haven't had any reviews.<br>Buffy: So you're letting me go.  
>Me: Of course... not. You're going to a place that is more evil than me. (snaps my fingers)<br>Buffy cast: (Falls)  
>Mr. Popo (TFS style): Welcome maggots, you'll be my -censored- now.<br>Buffy cast: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
>Check out my sequel, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer Court!"<p> 


End file.
